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One Hundred Thirty Pounds Ago,

I shed my shell and Got My Wings!

Monday, March 07, 2005

Hamburger Happy



Today, for the first time in ten months, I sat alone in my car and stuffed my face with a McDonald's Big 'N Tasty Hamburger. A year ago this was a daily ritual, sometimes twice daily, for me and would never have seemed so sinful. A year ago through, it would have been accompanied by a super sized fry, soda, and vanilla ice cream cone...today it was just the burger, and I only got through half of it before I just couldn't take another bite.

I haven't yet used this site to journal much about my Weight loss Surgery Journey, but I'm going to take today as an opportunity to start. 10 months ago I had my surgery at 292 pounds and a size 26. As of today I've lost 120 pounds and am in-between a size 8 and 10. Sure, I've been in hurries or on road trips where I've eaten fast food, but I've consciously made better choices...like chicken or salad, or only eating the insides of something and discarding the bread or tortilla, but today I just wanted to bite into a huge greasy, bread included hamburger and enjoy it! I'm not proud of myself, even in the slightest....and I actually feel worse because I don't even have the excuse of stress, PMS, or a big fight with Ruben...nope, everything is fine for me today, I just wanted a hamburger!

Part of my reasoning for posting this is because many people think my surgery is the easy way out of fatness. It's not that at all. I've worked harder in the last ten months then ever in my life to stay healthy and make the right choices. A few bad choices have made me very sick even. It's a struggle every day to know that there are things I want and shouldn't have (not can't though). I can eat whatever I want, knowing that in doing so I would in fact gain my weight back. My surgery isn't the answer to my addiction to food and obesity, it's just a tool that has helped me see a better way of life and get healthy. My surgery fixed my stomach, not my head. Fast food still tastes as good to me as it used to, and as good as it does to the person sitting next to me.

Got My Wings at 1:39 PM

5comments

5 Comments

at 2:07 PM Blogger Ruben said...

This is cute :-) I have noticed a huge difference in the way that you eat and I am proud of you. It is strange to me that I can love half of you like I used to love all of you. My hugs are smaller now but the love is bigger because we have allowed it to grow over time.

Maybe I will get in my car tomorrow and go get something no so good for me that I would really love. Cheesecake anyone?

 
at 8:45 PM Blogger Zette said...

*I'm sorry if this posts twice...the page errored out when I tried to send it thru.*

Personally, I've never been a "dieter" but have opted to also make better choices. It seems to me that total and complete denial of something you enjoy could be as bad as gorging ONLY on that same bad food. Obviously, there are going to be times when, like you said, you "shouldn't have" something, rather than "can't have" and that is more a matter of wills inside each of us. It's the "can't haves" that seems so torturous at times. Or so I think....just my opinion.

But with that said, (and did I really say "anyting"???) I think just the simple fact that you made the conscience choice to enjoy something, ONCE, rather than to turn to that same "bad item" as a crutch during stressful or difficult times, speaks volumes of your maturity and the changes you've made in your life since your surgery. Naturally, those changes are why you feel guilty for eating something so unhealthy and against your normal diet routine, but it's when you return for that second, third or fourth ALONE meal that I would be worried about. Once in a great while, helps feed the cravings without falling backwards.

Megan, I applaud you for your great steps and struggles and wish you all the best in your continuing efforts.

 
at 10:48 PM Blogger Zette said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
at 5:45 PM Blogger Liz said...

i there, I just wanted to say congrats on the weight lose hun!! You should be so very proud of yourself.

I have been thinking about it for some time, and would relaly love to have it done.

Keep up the good work!

And enjoy a burger every so often. it is nice to reward yourself, or just have one cause you want it.

 
at 5:45 PM Blogger Liz said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 

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