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One Hundred Thirty Pounds Ago,

I shed my shell and Got My Wings!

Saturday, June 11, 2005

I'm back!

Hello Everyone! I have to apologize for not posting in so long! A previous post of mine really hurt some family members, although it had no intention of doing so, and when they expressed their feelings to me it really un-motivated me from blogging. The post was about how unhappy I was with where I am right now in life and they felt it to be their fault (or like the blog made it sound to be their fault), when in all reality it's absolutely no one's fault but my own. I'm not un-happy about who I am or my relationship, just about where I am. I'm disappointed in myself that I'm not further and haven't accomplished more. I've made choices and sacrifices all on my own, with no one twisting my arm. I think it's all part of growing up and looking back--even when back isn't that far behind you. Growing up and taking control, and no longer making excuses or blaming and pointing fingers. Growing up and realizing all of the sudden--like getting hit with a semi-truck, that this is your life-your ONE time shot-and "Oh my God, what have I been doing with it!?"

Anyway, I'm back to writing now, as you can see. I thought now was as good of a time as any. I'm happy to announce that I just had my first birthday. My "Re-Birthday." It's been one year since my weight loss surgery and I've lost 130 pounds exactly. In a year! It's even hard for me to believe still. That's an average of about 11 pounds per month. Some months have definitely gone slower than others...some have even come to a dead halt! It definitely hasn't been easy. If anyone thinks that WLS is the "easy way out" of being fat, I feel sorry for their ignorance. This has been hands down the hardest year of my life, but also the most rewarding! I'll post a recent picture soon, promise. What I thought to be hilarious though was that all my family and good friends, for my birthday, wanting to take me out to EAT!!!!! Isn't that the addiction I've been battling? Society thinks that celebrations have to be centered around food...and a party isn't a party without dessert, right? I guess I just have a different way of thinking now. I love that I don't NEED food anymore. Just before my surgery a dear friend of mine reminded me that this surgery was going to change my stomach, not my head. Changing my head and my lifestyle was the hardest part! They (doctors) say that after WLS surgery, patients no longer live to eat, instead we eat to live. The down side of this surgery is that many can go the opposite extreme and become anorexic. I can go days without being hungry. But, I remind myself that I have to eat. And, I still try to make better food choices--but I'm by no means perfect--you can see my hamburger post to attest to that.

Besides my birthday, life is pretty much the same. I'm taking an online summer school coarse and on Monday start a class that goes four hours a day, four days week for nine weeks...but, I'm excited because I'm be working with children again. I'm also planning my parent's 25th Wedding Anniversary party for next weekend. Boy, what a job! It's the least I can do for them though, and wish I could do much more. They've done so much for me! I'm proud of them. Not too many marriages last that long anymore it seems, and they've been wonderful examples for what I want from a marriage. My only problem now is that I can't find a man as perfect as my daddy. Ruben is working on it though. Maybe in 25 years he'll have it down...

Well, I'm going to end this here for now. Hope everyone is doing well and having a wonderfully relaxing weekend!

Got My Wings at 6:51 PM

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